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Articles

LIZA [turning on him] Oh you are a brute.

It's a lie: nobody ever saw the sign of liquor on me. Spanish adopt: adoptar, adoptan, adopto, fondo. Not any feelings that we need bother about. I got my feelings same as anyone else. What difficulty? To get her to talk grammar. The mere pronunciation is easy enough. I don't want to talk grammar. I want to talk like a lady. Will you please keep to the point, Mr.

I want to know on what terms the girl is to be here. Is she to have any wages? And what is to become of her when you've finished your teaching? You must look ahead a little.

Tell me that, Mrs. That's her own business, not yours, Mr. Well, when I've done with her, we can throw her back into the gutter; and then it will be her own business again; so that's all right. Oh, you've no feeling heart in you: you don't care for nothing but yourself [she rises and takes the floor resolutely].

I've had enough of this. I'm Spanish ahead: adelante, delante, concluido. George Bernard Shaw 37 going [making for the door]. You ought to be ashamed of yourself, you ought. I've heard of girls being drugged by the like of you.

Pledge of good faith, Eliza. I eat one half you eat the other. You shall have boxes of them, barrels of them, every day. You shall live on them.

LIZA [who has disposed of the chocolate after being nearly choked by it] I wouldn't have ate it, only I'm too ladylike to take it out of my mouth. Listen, Eliza. I think you said you came in a taxi. Well, what if I did? I've as good a right to take a taxi as anyone else. You have, Eliza; and in future you shall have as many taxis as you want.

You shall go up and down and round the town in a taxi every day. Think of that, Eliza. Higgins: you're tempting the girl. It's not right.

She should think of the future. Spanish ate: comi. At her age! Time enough to think of the future when you haven't any future to think of. No, Eliza: do as this lady does: think of other people's futures; but never think of your own. Think of chocolates, and taxis, and gold, and diamonds. No: I don't want no gold and no diamonds. I'm a good girl, I am. You shall remain so, Eliza, under the care of Mrs. And you shall marry an officer in the Guards, with a beautiful moustache: the son of a marquis, who will disinherit him for marrying you, but will relent when he sees your beauty and goodness— PICKERING.

Excuse me, Higgins; but I really must interfere.


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Pearce is quite right. If this girl is to put herself in your hands for six months for an experiment in teaching, she must understand thoroughly what she's doing. How can she? She's incapable of understanding anything. Besides, do any of us understand what we are doing? If we did, would we ever do it? Very clever, Higgins; but not sound sense. That's all you get out of Eliza.

Ah— ah— ow— oo! No use explaining. As a military man you ought to know that. Give her her orders: that's what she wants. Eliza: you are to live here for the next six months, learning how to speak beautifully, like a lady in a florist's shop. If you're good and do whatever you're told, you shall sleep in a proper bedroom, and have lots to Spanish beauty: belleza, la belleza. George Bernard Shaw 39 eat, and money to buy chocolates and take rides in taxis. If you're naughty and idle you will sleep in the back kitchen among the black beetles, and be walloped by Mrs.

Pearce with a broomstick. At the end of six months you shall go to Buckingham Palace in a carriage, beautifully dressed. If the King finds out you're not a lady, you will be taken by the police to the Tower of London, where your head will be cut off as a warning to other presumptuous flower girls. If you are not found out, you shall have a present of seven-and- sixpence to start life with as a lady in a shop.


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If you refuse this offer you will be a most ungrateful and wicked girl; and the angels will weep for you. I don't know that I can take charge of her or consent to the arrangement at all. Of course I know you don't mean her any harm; but when you get what you call interested in people's accents, you never think or care what may happen to them or you. Come with me, Eliza. That's all right.